textsfromspiritworld:

(208): WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!

Submitted by hiddenunderabed

textsfromspiritworld:

(913):

I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.

(785):

When were you at my house?

Submitted by amaringo

textsfromspiritworld:

(406): My brother is so whacked out on Percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute.

Submitted by chococrepes

textsfromspiritworld:

(713): On the last problem of the exam I just drew a picture of a cat and left.

Submitted by chococrepes

textsfromspiritworld:

(509): I’m in the room…It’s full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..

textsfromspiritworld:

(281): I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.

(936): haha now u have to piss out ur bum

textsfromspiritworld:

(306): So not only just find my adoption papers that I didn’t know about in my parents house, but they say “child shows some signs of mental retardation”.

textsfromspiritworld:

(410): Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I’ll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.  

 (301): I accept this challenge.